My main role at work is serving as Executive Editor of The Earth Observer newsletter, which details the latest news from NASA Earth
Science. That means I spend a lot of
time helping authors refine their work into something acceptable for
publication in our newsletter. Being Executive Editor doesn’t always give me a
huge amount of extra time to pursue my first love—writing—at work. But every
now and again I don the writer’s hat, as I did recently when I wrote a feature article for our newsletter. It's always an
interesting role-reversal whenever I write an article. Whereas I normally am the one offering all
the "constructive criticism" to an author, now the tables are turned
and I am the recipient of such feedback.
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| Taking of the Editor's Hat to reveal my true identity. Image credit: Christine Smith-McFarlane |
Behind every good writer is a good
editor. Try as we might, we usually
don't produce publication quality content on our first try—and it's hard to
edit our own work. We spend so much time
with the material, crafting it just so, that we sometimes lose sight of the
forest for the trees. We need that person (or persons) we trust to look at our
work objectively and tell us where it needs work—and then we as author must be
willing to listen.
I know what an editor does
because I am one. I know they have my best interest at heart; they want to help
me refine my words and make the final
product better. In my head, I know all this. Nevertheless, when I see “red ink” spilled
over something I labored over to create, my heart
hurts—it’s hard not to feel rejected,
as if a part of me has died…
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| Front page screen shot of my article. You can read/download it here. |
I usually have to take some time to grieve the loss of what I
envisioned writing before I can move on to writing what needs to be written in
this instance. Such was the case for the article I just finished writing. It took me a while to accept my editor’s
inputs, but after my “period of mourning", I came to realize my editors
were spot-on in their analysis of my work.
As I look with pride on the final article that we published, I’m glad I
had their input—and listened to it.
In the end, I realized that the hours of research and
interviews and the multitude of words written but not published were not wasted. They are like “scaffolding” supporting the visible
text. My readers can’t see it but I
know it’s there “between the lines” of my article.
***** *****
***** ***** *****
A good editor keeps an author accountable to the standards of
whatever publication in which they seek to publish.
I started thinking about
the parallels between writing and living.
Our lives are the ultimate creative endeavor. I believe that as we live out our days, we
are each writing a story that is ultimately woven into the fabric of God’s larger
Story. We each have a unique story to
tell, but sometimes we struggle to understand it, or if you will, we struggle
to edit the “script” of our lives.
So, the question is: Do
you have a life editor? That is to say, is there a friend (or friends) whom
you trust enough to allow them to read the "script" of your life—and,
if necessary, suggest revisions—and who keeps you accountable to the standards
of Jesus? [1]
I remember early on in Early Risers we told each other our
stories. Jeff went first and set the
tone for the level of sharing he wanted us to do. Looking back, I’d say that was a very brave
and vulnerable act on his part. There
are more "private chapters" of our tale we usually don't share
publicly with anyone. Going there is
risky—even among friends. The potential
for betrayal of such sensitive information is huge. But Jeff wanted our group to "go
deeper" together, so he took a chance and shared some of those more
"private" chapters of his own story with us, hopping we might all
follow suit when we shared in the ensuing weeks. I remember when Wally Melnik
(another of the Early Risers) got ready to tell his own story a few
weeks later, he told us how, after hearing Jeff's story, he thought: "Oh... We're going to talk about that
kind of stuff."
Early Risers became an
environment where it was safe to share "that kind of
stuff" with one another. Over time,
our group developed a level of trust that just couldn't come about if our
interactions with each other were limited to exchanging pleasantries during the
coffee hour at church on Sunday.
Jeff set the tone for our group when he told his story and in so
doing, he gave the rest of us permission to "go there" ourselves. Shame seeks to isolate us and make us feel
"on our own" to figure out life and struggle with sin. It was liberating to hear one another's
stories and realize we weren't the "only one" with this or that issue. With each
successive story shared, we became increasingly aware of our common struggles
as men and increasingly comfortable in one another's presence. The walls we naturally put up to protect
ourselves began to come down, we took off the masks we typically wear in
public, and real fellowship started to happen.
It became tradition for someone to bring bagels to our gatherings. I think it was me that coined the slogan:
"We come for the bagels, but we stay for the
accountability." I remember Stephen Shields (another Early Riser for a time) and I used to say it to each other.
With that level of sharing as introduction to Early Risers,
we had permission to ask the "harder questions" of one another as
follow-up. As the years went by, trust
deepened, and we were indeed able to "suggest revisions" to one
another's life scripts—never in a judgmental or controlling way—but out of a
desire for the script of that guy's life to more authentically reflect whom God
has created them to be.
***** ***** *****
***** *****
Later, when Early Risers grew large enough where we
decided we needed to split into two groups. Several of the men in our group agreed to split off and form a new
group. The new group
needed leadership; my friend Steve Audi and I took on the leadership role
together. We also needed a name; we
dubbed ourselves Godfellas—after the movie Goodfellas—and tried
to continue sharing our lives together as we did in Early Risers. At that time, we met at Steve's house in Olney, MD.
Steve was married and had children before I did and I learned a great deal from
observing him conduct his life with his wife Trish (and his kids Meghan and
Michael) that I would later apply to living my own family life, raising a son
and daughter. In fact, when I got married,
Steve was one of the best men at my wedding (the other was my brother). Steve has also has stood by me at other
"critical moments" of my life, such when as when we dedicated and
baptized our son and daughter--and also when we buried a child.
After a few years, Ed Warner, who joined Godfellas a few
years after we started, took over leadership and, for various reasons, we transitioned
to meeting at his house. The guys in Early Risers all attended the same
church but that has long sense stopped being the case; we are now scattered all
over Washington DC area. Nevertheless, Godfellas still gets together
roughly once a month, choosing a location "central" to all, meeting
for breakfast and fellowship on a Saturday morning at someone's home or at a
local restaurant. Sometimes I have to drive an hour to get where we meet. I confess sometimes it’s hard to do in the
midst of my busy life; sometimes I just can’t make it that week—but I can’t
think of too many times I regret it when I do make the drive from Waldorf to
Laurel or Greenbelt, or wherever, to meet.
These groups have provided
a spiritual anchor for me over the years, a place where I’m free to be me, and
where I can offer support and encouragement to others. I am very thankful to God for leading me to
Jeff Kline all these years ago. Recently,
we started a Men’s Bible Study at Good Shepherd. Our first few meetings have led to some very
good discussions. I’d love to see a
group like what I’m describing get started closer to home. It would be another
generation in the “family tree” of groups that began with The Muckers, and has extended over 20 years to the
present. But of course, I can’t “force”
that to happen; I have to see where the Spirit leads…
***** ***** *****
***** *****
I would be remiss if I didn't mention another of my trusted life
editors—my spouse. As valuable as
the soul friends from my men's groups have been over the years, my wife Laurie
probably knows me better than anyone at this point in my life. I suppose that's how it should be with
someone you spend every day and night with; they should be your "best
friend". After 13.5 years of
marriage Laurie has become another trusted life-editor for me; she has
permission to "go there" with me anytime she wishes—and doesn't
hesitate to do so if she feels it is needed.
She sometimes offers counsel on something I might want to consider
changing or modifying. I confess that I
don't always respond well at first.
Why? What makes it so hard to
contemplate? I think it is because, as I
described earlier in the context of my writing, I don’t respond all that well
to suggested revisions. I tend to get very attached to the
"current version of me" and view suggested refinements to the
way I live as rejection of who I am.
"I've invested time and energy in becoming this way, and now
you want me to change?!" But in
time, I realize she loves me and has my best interest at heart. Like the editors I trust with my writing at
work, I’ve learned over the years that my wife has a pretty good ability to “read
my script”; if she suggests an “edit”, it's probably something I ought to
listen to.
***** ***** *****
***** *****
With the season of Lent beginning, we tend to become a bit more
reflective, contemplative, and introspective.
We might be more open to thinking about edits we need to make to
the script of our lives. So, the
question then becomes: Do you have
that a trusted friend or group of friends you can turn to help you with editing
your life? If you do, then be sure
to take advantage of the blessing of a friend (or friends) that you can trust
with the plot of your life. If you don't, perhaps this is a time to ask God to
help you find that person or persons.
CAUTION: Discernment is required when choosing soul
friends. It's not just anyone that's
worthy of such trust; but I can tell you from personal experience that finding
a few people with whom you feel safe "going there" is a true gift and
blessing.
I firmly believe that God longs to see the "best us" to
emerge. I think God often uses other
people in our lives to help that happen—like the life editors/soul friends I've been
describing in this article. When we're
at our best, the communities we are part of (whether churches, neighborhoods,
schools, jobs, or whatever) will be better because of our presence. I also believe, however, that becoming our
"best selves" doesn't just happen. Forces work against us becoming
our “best selves” and pull us away from God.
If we just do what "comes naturally" we will tend to drift
away from God. We must intentionally
choose to put forth effort to overcome those forces and actively pursue
practices that move us toward God. Lent is a season for "editing our
script", for stripping away things that prevent the "best us"
from emerging, so we can more easily move toward God and become the person God
created us to be. I pray that this can
happen to all of us as we walk the Lenten journey together in the weeks ahead.
[1] I write from the perspective of being a follower of
Christ, so this would naturally be the standard to which I seek to adhere. However,
I think the concept of life editor
could be applied universally to people of all faiths.
[2] The name of the group, as I understood it, came from
groups of soldiers who fought together back-to-back in the muddy trenches
during World War I—so they literally “had one another’s backs” in battle. Both
Jeff and Steve Audi, mentioned later, were part of this group before I knew
them. The group was led by Mark
Buckingham, who led Men’s Ministry at Cedar Ridge Community Church (where we
all attended when Early Risers
started) for a time during the 1990s.
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